I’m so happy the kids are back at school. Did you just raise your glass to cheer me?  Thank you! Cheers to you too.

I actually felt really sad when everyone left to go back to school. For a few minutes. Maybe a little more than a few. I felt the loss of their constant presence, but then of course I wanted to jump for joy.  You know, that yin and yang thing again?  I loved them being home. Yet I longed for quiet and structure and less dishes and laundry and my own agenda and not 4 other people with different ideas. I know you get it.

When everyone is home, there is more chaos, and I have more work to do thank usual. It’s just that the work and demands are constant and there doesn’t seem to be a break. At least when everyone goes to school and work, I can clean up and get things in order and they stay that way at least for a couple hours, and it’s quiet and peaceful. I can workout and shower, shop and volunteer and be back again to do pick up and homework help and taxi driver duties.  I like that little respite and long for it, which is why I was happy when everyone went back to their business and I could do mine.

It’s weird to me though, because I think I want us all together and I do, but then I long for a break again. Maybe that’s normal. I don’t want a long break. Just enough to get everything back in order again – to restock the fridge, cook a little with no one walking in the kitchen and interrupting or making their own food, and getting all the clutter back to where it belongs.  

playing with carrots before roasting them tonight

As I put it into words, I feel a bit neurotic, because I’m a stay at home mom who wants to be home with her family, yet I want them to all go away? That’s weird. I don’t really want them to go away for long, but I already mentioned that. I think you get it.

So once everyone went back, I got back to my normal and that felt really good. I have a routine again and this routine provides structure to my days. I know what to expect and things just kinda flow.  I feel like I can do my job and this gives me purpose and I feel successful, if that makes any sense.

I am thankful for my family and my job and my quiet time and when they all come back into the mix again. I love my people and I wouldn’t change a thing. I love our togetherness, and I now know that I also need some space and I think that’s healthy. We all need a coffee break.

Can you relate?

Life is good.  What provides structure and purpose in your life?