Did you get to look in the eyes of someone you love today?
I just watched a video telling us to look up and to get off our phones and screens and to be present and connected with those near us. It was quite powerful and made me think. I am definitely addicted to technology and love reading Facebook updates and seeing Instagram posts, checking in with my “real” world. But I also love putting down the screens and being outside and playing and laughing and teasing and talking in my real, real world with my loved ones.
Today my 9 year old asked me if I wished he was still a baby. I told him that I loved him being a 9 year old and loved seeing all the things he could do by himself and how much I liked watching him play sports and reading his writing and loving him being 9. I told him I missed the times when he was little too, but that I loved where he was now. He said he missed being a baby or little because then we were together more and had more time together and that I paid attention to him all the time. We had just came home from being on a late night family date to the ice cream creamery in Santa Clara. It surprised me that he was desiring more attention, as we just had shared quality time together. But he made me think.
I stopped what I was doing and moved from my seat at the table to sit next to him on the bench where I could hug him. I held him tightly and told him the story about how mamas have to let out the leash slowly. I told him how we used to be this close and we were attached by an umbilical cord. And then he got bigger and was with me all the time until he started to crawl, yet I would follow him. Then he learned to walk and I would follow him wherever he went. I always wanted to keep him safe and to know where he was. I told him as he grew, so did his independence and he would venture off a bit further away from me, but I still knew where he was and was always paying attention to him. He learned to play outside with me watching and would walk three houses away and come back. As he grew, he asked to walk to his friends house around the corner, and I’d wait and watch until he came back, but I let him go. I reminded him how he asked to go around the block, and I anxiously allowed him out of my sight and waited for him to return and how that was a big step in our life journey for both of us. He keeps gaining independence and I keep letting go, or letting out a bit longer leash.
Today he went to the park with his big brother and I told him how I let him go and trusted him and that I worried about him when he wasn’t close to me, but that I knew he would come back and I was always thinking of him, even when he wasn’t with me. He smiled. I think he felt better knowing that even though we weren’t together, he was still connected to me and that I actually was paying attention to him.
I told him how his older sister and brother went away to sleepover camps and how I let them go and worried about their needs when I wasn’t there to take care of them, but knew they were ok and was so happy when they came back. I told him he would continue to go away and come back and that I’d always love him and wait for him and be thinking of him forever.
He told me he would always love me, even when he was mad at me. I told him I would love him no matter what and that he’d always be my baby and that I would always kiss and hug him no matter what. He hugged me and smiled and I think he felt content again, being a big 9 Year old.
So this wasn’t the story I was planning to share today, but it came up right before bed. I was going to share the importance of spending real, face time with people you care about and share some pictures from my date with my honey. We had a busy weekend filled with family and baseball and events, but we snuck away for a couple hours to check out a new place we hadn’t been before. We packed a picnic lunch and we sat outside at a local winery, enjoying each other’s “face time,” a glass of wine and beautiful views. Life is good. Have a great week, my friends, filled with love and face time!! xo