I believe in positive thinking and focusing on the positive, despite the chaos of life. But sometimes I lose my focus and feel frustration and anger. Thank God, I’m normal, right?
Usually I lose my positive mojo when I’m overtired, because what ever is agitating me takes over my body because I’m too tired to reverse my thinking.
I have this little FitBit thing that motivates me to workout and also monitors my sleep. I press a button when I get into bed and press it again when I wake up and it tracks the hours and minutes I’ve been sleeping and the minutes I’ve been restless. It’s fascinating to see the patterns. The last several nights I’ve been getting about 7 hours of sleep with several minutes of restlessness throughout the night. I have to admit, that I’m feeling tired just knowing that I’m getting less than 8 hours of sleep. I love sleep! It feels like a luxury to get at least 8 hours, which is what we’re “supposed” to get on an average night. I guess I’m falling short.
Today I was feeling more agitated than usual. Usually, I’m able to feel gratitude for my blessings, but today I ran short. I had a “free” day and was going to head to the beach, but it was foggy and overcast here, which made it less than a desirable journey. I decided I’d stay home and work on my big photo project, which is like a gigantic elephant in the room. Let’s just say, I didn’t make much progress and accessing my digital backups was a slow and painful process. Every step forward was two steps back, which left me frustrated.
I did manage to get rid of all plastic storage boxes from my historical printed photos and made our inventory look a little more organized and pretty, but I was still harboring frustration as I moved through the day, feeling frustrated by this HUGE “problem” facing me that I wanted to conquer and organize.
The point of me sharing this story, is that I felt ugly on the inside today and short tempered. When I picked up Charlie from school today, he was also overtired and short tempered too. The two of us together were ugly. He said that I was being mean and he was right. I didn’t have any patience and was snappy. He was snappy too because he was overtired and had some issues at school too. Nothing major, but he wasn’t his happy self either. The two of us were feeding off each other and it wasn’t good.
I felt the storm brewing. I felt how my negative attitude brought out the worst of his negative attitude and how the circle continued until I asked him for a do-over. He didn’t know what that meant. I told him it was when two people decided they were done feeling yucky and wanted to start over again, at that moment just because someone declared a do-over to allow us a chance to start again, and to be happy again despite our feeling badly. I met him at the table and gave him a hug and we started over again. Just like that, and we both smiled and felt relief that we didn’t have to hold on to our frustration anymore. Starting over is such a good feeling. Knowing that you’re feeling off and then being able to do something about it to change the way you’re feeling is powerful.
So if you ever feel like we did today, with someone you’re in close contact with that’s bugging you, just ask for a Do-Over. It’s a great way to start again and feel better and to let go of all the stress that was keeping you from feeling connected.
Life really is good.