When It Hurts

I want to use a swear word, but I’ll hold myself back.

Stuff happens all the time and we don’t always like it or know what to do with it, especially the stuff we didn’t choose to happen.

We tend to focus on the good stuff and we seem to know what to do with that. But what about the bad stuff? How do we know how to go on again and reclaim our future and redefine our new path and accept that it’s ok to move on from here?

It’s hard to know.

It’s coming up on the one year anniversary that Chase died and we’re feeling it. We’re not really sure what to do with the feelings and there are no simple solutions or one size, fits all remedy. We want to reach out and connect and console one another and talk about it, and it hurts.  We want to offer comfort and care, and we’re not sure how best to do it. We want to give gifts and be together and share our stories and hear each other.  Maybe we just have to be.

I lit a candle and said a prayer. I called and texted loved ones. All throughout the days, while I’m working and driving and thinking, I am sitting with and feeling the sadness and loss more so again this week and am trying to accept it.  I wonder when the acceptance phase kicks in.

We don’t have all the answers.

To all who are hurting, I wish you love and peace and hope to carry on.

We love you Chase and miss you.


The Good Life Quilt

What if we could stitch a quilt of love between us?

What if we could take the values that give our life meaning and stitch them together and create a warm blanket to share?

What would you include in this quilt?  Would we all include the same things?

I would weave the common good, courage, justice, love, peace, kindness, truth, compassion, fairness, tolerance, acceptance, hope, freedom, passion, creativity, integration, justice, and connection.

What values would you add?

What would be the purpose of this Good Life Quilt?

I think having one would provide us warmth and something to share. It’s colors and diversity and patterns would be woven together and give us something beautiful to touch and to see and to build together.

When Charlie was born, he almost died. We were filled with fear and did not know what was wrong with him for 6, agonizing days.  We had no idea whether he would live or not  We had no control. And we just had to wait and watch and pray. We were scared and it was a very lonely feeling, even though there were so many that wanted to help us. One thing that provided comfort in the sterile intensive care unit, was a handmade quilt inside his bed. I wondered where it came from and why it was there. It was stitched by a volunteer group who gave of their time and their talents and added warmth and color and a sense of home to his little bassinet. It felt like a warm hug and provided hope of normalcy, that one day he’d be in a cozy bed in our home. Dreams do come true.

May you be covered with a Good Life Quilt and stay warm and loved.


Cat Naps

These two inspired me today. 

I enjoyed seeing them snuggled together, resting and just doing nothing in the middle of the day.

I decided to do the same. I finished doing my chores and then just laid on the couch, relaxing and opening my eyes when someone walked in the room and then stretching a bit and closing my eyes again.

It’s been a very busy week and it felt good to slow down for a bit today. 

Cat naps are good for the soul.

Did you rest today?

One People, One Love



Every day I stop to think about what to write and what to share that might be meaningful or funny or that connects to a current event.

Today, Juliana’s shirt caught my eye after I looked at this picture we sent her daddy, who’s been out of town all week. I noticed and reflected on the One People line.

We are One People. We are One Love and we are interconnected, whether we want to acknowledge it or not. Our actions and our choices affect others and we need to look out for one another and be kind and loving, no matter what.

My mind is on Oregon and the tragedy that was created by one lonely and disillusioned person. People are looking for blame and for reasons why and want to politicize solutions. They want an easy fix to a complex problem.

How can we make a difference? I have several ideas and I’m sure you do too.

I think we start with ourselves. We can love who we are and be okay with the choices we’ve made and have experienced.

We can take care of our families and love one another and lift each other up. 

We can teach kindness and practice kindness every day. We can be role models and examples through our actions and through our words by gently reminding and coaching those in our influence to act similarly.

We can take care of our community by volunteering in our local schools, and at our local spirtual establishments, in our neighborhood shelters, and by coaching and leading and mentoring kids and adults.

We can build relationships and partnerships and connections. We can see each other.

We can focus on positive, real life (s)heroes and share stories of hope, the stories that lift us up and inspire us. What we focus on, we create. 

These take time and work and dedication. And genuine, authentic relationships take more than social media and instant gratification to develop roots. 

Get rooted.

Get connected, your way. 

Make a difference where you’re planted.


See One Another

We all live under this one big sky and it’s a beautiful thing.

The next person you come in contact with, really see them. Say hello and acknowledge their presence, even if they are a little weird or different than you. We are all weird. 

Be curious . Don’t be afraid. We all are the same on the inside.

This world needs more love and acceptance. We can make the difference by loving everyone we meet, from within our hearts, through our actions and with our intentions. Go ahead and smile first. Strike up a conversation. It’s so easy. You can make a difference just by being you.

Oregon – I wish you peace and am so sad and angry that so many lives were sacrificed and harmed because someone didn’t think they were enough today. I am so sorry for your unexplainable loss. 

You are enough, BeLoveRs. 



What makes you feel rooted?

What makes you feel established and firmly grounded?

Where is your place, where you feel you belong?

I think growing older is a beautiful thing because I can feel myself more rooted in knowing who I am and what is important to me. These 2 things guide my daily choices, decisions and reactions to life’s daily events, opportunities, changes and challenges.

I am continuously learning and practicing (and failing) and connecting to all that is good and letting go of all that troubles me to live the best life possible, every day, moment to moment. I know this sounds dorky, but it’s true. It’s how I think and it works for me.

I wish the same for you, that you feel rooted and loved and valued and connected to this good life and to one another.
One Love.

Create Space

I’m loving the idea of creating space.

What does this mean to you?

Can you create space between your breathes?  In yoga today, at the end of our practice, Melissa had us take a deep breathe in and hold it. She then told us to breathe in a little more and hold it. And to do it once again. As we held our breathe and were thinking we were out of space in our lungs, we found more 3 times. We created more space and filled it with deep, full breathes and then let it all out. This felt so good.

We also used our breathe to stretch into a deeper stretch with each exhale. We closed the space to go deeper.

What about white space? Cassie has been using a white canvas to create space to display the things she discovers each day. In creating a clean, repeatable space, we her audience anticipate what she will find and present in this beautiful, simple space.

Here’s an example of her beautifully filled, magical space:  http://www.cassiacogger.com/blog/2015/9/26/on-magic-and-participation

Do you need more closet space? Try reading the Marie Kondo book to learn about the importance of creating meaningful and tidy spaces. You can find it on Amazon: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing

What about space in your relationships? Are you giving your partner and/or yourself some breathing room? Togetherness is a wonderful thing, but so is time alone to do what you love and to be who you want to be. I’ve noticed that when I create and give space, intimacy fills it. When I try to fill the space by being too needy or demanding, the space becomes like a vacuum and connections are lost. This one is the most fascinating to me. It represents so clearly the push and pull we feel everyday, that yin and yang of tensions and desires.

How about at the end of the day? Do you leave space and time to unwind? Do you create space to snuggle with your kids or partner or pets instead of doing one more chore or checking one more email? I was resisting and practicing this one tonight. I so wanted to do the dishes and get the coffee ready, instead of indulging in snuggles and conversation. I wanted to get stuff done. I didn’t want to snuggle, yet I opened the space to the opportunity that presented itself and the space and love connection grew. I made the right choice, even though I struggled to give in to the calling. Love the little mentors in my life.

Can you do nothing? Can you sit still and allow yourself to be present and to just close your eyes and BE in the space you’re in without any expectations or worry? Sounds easy, but it’s not. Go ahead, try it. See where your mind goes and try to bring it back to the present moment again.

Enjoy the thought of creating your own space. What does it look like? What does it feel like? You get to choose. Just do it.