What Do You Wish For?

Standard

20140915-204650-74810159.jpg
I was wishing for a beach house but I think I changed my mind, as of yesterday, believe it or not, for several reasons.

I used to wish to move back to Thousand Oaks, but I don’t wish for that anymore either.

I used to wish to go on The Price is Right, but that no longer is high on my wish list. It would be fun, but I’m not longing or aching to be on the show.

I always wanted to be in the same room with Oprah, and that wish will come true in a couple months! I’m very excited. I love her and her energy and wisdom.

I always wished to be a stay at home mom and I’m currently happily living that dream.

I wonder what you wish for and what you’ve wished for and if you’ve been lucky and /or done the work to achieve your dreams.

I dream that my entire extended family and BFFs and their families all lived in the same village somewhere so that we could all look out for one another, share meals and celebrations and laughs, and take care of each other every day. I think this would make me very happy.

I believe that the grass is greener where you water it, and that it’s not necessarily greener on the other side.

I will continue to enjoy my little family and friends and neighbors and community right where I am.

So what wishes will you water?

Namaste, BeLovers.
xo

Sunday with Friends

Standard

I’ve declared Sunday family days, where we try to not schedule anything and to celebrate a day of rest.  That is, until friends decide to celebrate life and I have to go with the flow.

Today was such a day. Kelly turned 50 and her friends chose to celebrate today and who was I to say no?

20140914-195628-71788560.jpg
We spent the day up in San Francisco on a gorgeous day.  We drove up in two cars and parked along the Embarcadero and the water. We had a delicious and healthy lunch at the Plant on Pier 3.  We all enjoyed our time together, sharing conversation and mimosas and wonderful food.  Afterwards, we walked along the Embarcadero and through the Ferry Building and along the water.  The sun was shining and there wasn’t any wind, so we were all warm and comfortable.

I tried a Blue Bottle Coffee for the first time and enjoyed every sip of the rich, creamy cafe latte.

20140914-195721-71841015.jpg

I loved that we all took the time to enjoy each other’s company and to celebrate our dear friend.  Becky was awesome and decorated the cars and brought party favors and bubbles for all the guests.

I have the best of friends and am so thankful for the women in my life. I learned so much and admired all the women and their life choices and hearing about what they are doing and where they are going. Some moms are working, some are looking for work and some are stay at home moms. Some have advanced degrees, some are teachers and one is doctor. And everyone took the time to celebrate our friend and each other. The laundry can wait.

20140914-195939-71979976.jpg
I am thankful and happy to have such cool women in my life and a supportive family that says, “Yes, go and play with your friends and have a good time.”  I got home in time to spend time together with my family too, with a delicious BBQ on our outdoor patio. Life is balanced.

Life is good.

20140914-200119-72079857.jpg
Circle of friends

United We Stand

Standard

The score was 35-0. Stanford beat Army on a gorgeous, summer day with a slight breeze flowing through the stadium.  The students aren’t back in school yet so the crowd was sparse.

We enjoyed a mini-tailgate with friends and our family, after a morning of soccer games, and got to enjoy more friends once we got inside the stadium.

20140913-212423-77063274.jpg
My favorite parts of the game were the beginning and the end.  At the beginning of the game, Stanford cheerleaders and armed service personnel held and waved a giant flag while the Stanford band performed on the field.

20140913-212221-76941141.jpg

Nearby the Boy Scouts of America stood at attention in their uniforms as the National Anthem played.

At the end of the game, Stanford ran off the field, following Army to their fan and band area to sing Army’s Alma Mater together.  

20140913-212327-77007570.jpg
When the song was over, Army followed Stanford to their fan and band area and stood together, singing Stanford’s Alma Mater.  This was very touching.

United we stand.

Life is good.

TGIF – Carmel

Standard

Today I got to have a mini-vacation.

Suzi and I drove to Carmel to visit our BFF, Michele. She moved away this summer and we miss her so much.  Luckily she still lives within driving distance so we can still see each other, even though we can’t go on our weekly hikes and BMWs.

Carmel is about an 1 1/2 hour drive from Silicon Valley and is a dream destination. After we dropped the kids off at school, we began the reverse commute to see our friend.

Suzi and I enjoyed the beautiful drive and chat along the way, while anticipating our arrival. We were so happy to see our friend again.

We made the best of our time by going on a 6 mile hike in a new place, just like we used to do.

20140912-213950-77990235.jpg
I loved every minute of it.

20140912-214047-78047888.jpg

I was so bummed when we had to leave.

20140912-214443-78283251.jpg
We enjoyed walking through the hills, taking in the sites and nature and animals, and enjoyed a small lunch together out in M’s backyard before heading back over the hill again.  We didn’t want to leave!!

20140912-214135-78095054.jpg
We miss her so much!

Life is good.  So glad that we took the time to play and to enjoy the moment. Laundry can wait. Go outside and play, my BeLovers!! xoxo

20140912-214231-78151126.jpg

Hello BeLovers!

Standard

Be.

Love.

Be Love.

Be Loved.

Today one of my 305 blog followers and favorite commenters (Kris) commented on my blog and described herself as one of my “bloggies.” I was just thinking about how thankful I am that you read my blog and that some of you read it every day. You follow along with me, sometimes sharing comments, sometimes liking what I write either publicly or privately, and sometimes just silently reading, but you visit and come back again and again and I love it.

One blogger I follow has hundreds of thousands of followers and she calls us followers, her Monkees. We are part of her Monkee community and it’s just an endearing word to group us together.

I thought more about rock stars and their followers and several of their fan clubs have names. For example,

Justin Bieber has Beliebers.

Lady Gaga has Little Monsters.

Katy Perry has KatyCats.

Taylor Swift has Swifties.

I wanted to come up with a name for my followers too, not that I’m a rock star and have a big following, but 300+ is big for me. I want to call you BeLovers – which connects to Here I am by just BEing You.  Just Be. Be Love. Be Loved. Be Loving. Be a Lover of all that is good.  BeLovers.

What do you think? Is that corny? Cute? Stick with it or find another bloggies name?  Help me out BeLovers!! xoxo

Messy Relationships

Standard

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
Brené Brown

Relationships – Part 2

This is the week of relationship challenges.

I had another situation this week that left me saddened.  

I was not chosen for something and it hurt my feelings. I felt rejected by my friend and at the same time accepted her decision. As I dealt with my feelings of rejection, I also practiced letting go of anger and accepting her and her choice, even though it wasn’t my favorite choice.

I am practicing letting go of hurt and sadness and moving on as quickly as possible, after acknowledging the sense of loss. I don’t want to dwell on loss and pain and sadness, even though these feelings are also part of life. I want to acknowledge the feelings and release them so that they don’t consume my mind space. This is a practice, let me tell you, but it’s so worth it.  There are so many other opportunities to explore and one loss shouldn’t take away our energy, but rather should energize us to try new things and to create new relationships.

I choose to let go.

I chose to share my story of disappointment with my kids. I wanted them to know that even as adults, we will sometimes get hurt by others choices and that we have to find peace in that. We all experience rejection in different forms, and we cannot always be chosen for the team, for the role in a play that we wanted, as a friend, for a job, as a partner, etc, and we have to develop ways to cope with the changes that life delivers to us.

I wanted to teach compassion and forgiveness. I wanted them to be aware that we are sometimes the ones that do the unintentional hurting, and that I want them to be careful with their choices and their relationships and to be mindful of how their actions affect others.  I wanted to teach them self confidence, and to be ok with themselves, when they are rejected for whatever reason, and to carry on.

They got it. They understood.  They shared how they have dealt with similar experiences and shared compassion with me. And then I cried. Because I was understood and was thankful that my little ones got it.

Life is good. I am ok.  We move on and it’s ok. Shine.

xo

 

 

I Want A Relationship With You

Standard

“Good relationships are not just about the good times you share; they’re also about the obstacles you go through together…and the fact that you still say I love you in the end.” – unknown author

Several things happened today that made me think of the importance of relationships. I learned about the importance of forgiveness, letting go, compassion, being grateful and do-overs. I’ll share one of the stories today, and perhaps save the others for another day.

My youngest has been needing lots of attention lately and I’m not sure why. He does things a little bit more slowly, a little bit more noisily, he’s a little more needy, and a lot more demanding.  Basically he’s irritating all of us all, well most all, of the time.

This morning when I asked him to get busy with his chores and to get ready for school, he just sat. He then moved to another near by chair and laid over the arm and spun around for a bit, not really hearing my words for whatever reason. This happened repeatedly, as you can imagine and possibly even happens in your home. When I asked him to sit quietly, he tapped his pencil. If I asked him to stop tapping his pencil, he stomped his foot. It was like he couldn’t hear me, or maybe he did, and he rather enjoyed the negative attention he was receiving from his irritated housemates.

So when I told him he was in trouble for not behaving and for creating conflict in our family, he didn’t like that. I sent him to his room, and told him he was to come straight back there after school.  This agitated him because “he did nothing wrong,” of course, and didn’t understand why I was so mean. I explained myself and told him that was it. He disappeared for thirty seconds and returned, asking for a do-over.  He was sorry for being irritating and wanted to start over again. I said no. He hemmed and hawed, and walked away and then came back again with his bed made, dressed and ready to try again. 

He came and sat on my lap and asked for a do-over again. I said no. He then said, “Mom, I want to try again. I want to have a relationship with you and I want to play with you and I don’t mean to ignore you. I don’t know why I do that and I am not trying to be irritating.”  Again, I said no.  I felt like I needed to be kind and firm and I needed to be a disciplinarian and enforce the rules, so that he’ll learn.

He left again, did more work (or messed around) and came back again, asking for the same thing, again with more emphasis:  “Mom, I just want to love you and I want a relationship with you. I learned my lesson and I’m sorry. Please let’s start over again and have a do-over mom.”

This time I listened, even though I didn’t want to. I wanted to do what was right and teach him a lesson. But what I wanted more than that was to have a loving relationship with him, just like he wanted with me.  I looked at him, and opened my arms, and asked him, “Why are you so smart?” And he said, “Because I am.”  

I believed him and gave him a hug and told him I wanted a relationship with him too and we needed a do-over, to begin again and to respect one another. He smiled and let me kiss his face.  I told him how much I loved him and I think he heard me this time.  

Love wins.  

And hopefully we’ll keep practicing the discipline thing together, learning together and loving one another as we grow our relationship.  I want a relationship with him too.

Namaste.